Magens Bay --San Thomas

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Open Marriage … new trend?

The very first time I heard about the term of 'Open Marriage,' was when I was reading an article that mentioned Marianne Gingrich ditched her husband, Newt Gingrich, a Republican presidential candidate. He asked her for an open marriage.  How convenience, I said to myself.

Here is what google’s web definition on open marriage: a marriage in which each partner is free to enter into extraneous sexual relationships without guilt or jealousy from the other.

The phrase was first introduced by the late George and Nena O'Neill in their 1972 book, and it has been stretched ever since. According to Kathleen Doheny, an author of an article The Truth about Open Marriage, “Those who practice open relationships or polyamory often say they are "hardwired" this way and that laying the ground rules for multiple relationships spares everyone hurt and disappointment. Not everyone agrees, with some therapists calling the polyamorous model a recipe for hurt, disappointment, jealousy, and breakups. On one point all agree: a "poly" relationship isn't going to work unless all partners are in favor of the arrangement.”

--courtesy of

Well … on a flip side, the divorce rate would go down then? or not. Last I heard it was about 50 percents. According to web MD, “Probably about 4% to 9% of U.S. adults have some sort of open arrangement, estimates Franklin Veaux, 41, an Atlanta-based computer programmer and web site developer who also runs a polyamory web site.” Interesting.

My jaw is dropped. I am quite speechless. In fact, I am not sure what to write. So, I am going to leave this thought to you and keep on walking down the path that I am heading.

Until next stop,
Journey of Life


  1. Newt Gingrich's behaviour - not only in this case, but also in the way he exited his first marriage - is of course disgusting. Not sure in this day and age if it disqualifies him from being president; he wouldn't get my vote for any number of other reasons. But it surely casts a significant cloud over his judgment and his values.

    I think "open marriage" is a sham. There is simply no way that two people can "share" affection (and more) without feeling jealous of the other. Wanting to engage in marriage - an exclusive partnership/friendship - means by definition not wanting to split your affections. Thus, the whole construct of "open" marriage is a false one.

    As far as the 50% divorce rate - it's a bit of a misleading statistic. 50% of MARRIAGES end in divorce. That figure includes people like Newt Gingrich. He is on marriage number three, two of which have ended in divorce. Thus, his number is 67%. Those who have been divorced once are far more likely to divorce twice, or three times. Look at Hollywood if you need further evidence.

    The number of COUPLES who divorce is far lower than 50%, I believe.

  2. Conflating a comparison of honesty versus cheating, into a comparison of many-partnering versus dedication to a single partner, or loosely-attaching people versus strongly-attaching partners, is a good way to ruin the use of a word.

    If nobody feels sure what you REALLY mean when you say it, maybe you're a politician. :P