Magens Bay --San Thomas

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Friday the 13th ….

“Friday the 13th? Bad luck?” My coworker responded to my Face book status when I posted last Friday on my latest status, “Never feel so alone … my girl ditched me … went to dinner by myself …”
Hmm … didn’t even realized that … Indeed it was Friday the 13th … I forgot to check whether it was full moon or not.

I wonder if this is what it felt to the baby boomers when their children grew up and left them. What if we don’t have our loved ones next to us? What if they left us first or for whatever reasons that we have ended up with ourselves … alone …

I was at @nearby town at this DECA competition as a chaperone for two nights with two reasons … wanted to be with my girl and wanted to know more about this organization. But, little did I know that my teenage girl has grown up and she doesn’t need me as much as she used to. She would rather be with her friends. I guess I should be happy but part of me feels like losing something. I feel like part of me is empty …

This is what it feels like to be alone … I was alone in my room … I was alone when I went and bought my dinner … I was eating my dinner alone in my room. Only then … I remember that there is this thing called television. I totally have forgotten about television as I barely watch it at home.

Are we ready for our children … our teenagers … to move away from us? I feel like I need to ask this question … I don’t think I ever be ready … I am so attached to them … They are my life … they are my everything … and yet I want them to be independent … I want them to find their own identity … I want them to be the best they can be … I want them to have their own circle of friends …but yet … part of me can’t let them go …

I guess when I am taking another step into my journey, I need to start planning for my future … the future without my children by my side … the future that I won’t be needed as much … the future that someone else will be their main focus in life … time for me to wake up and smell the coffee …

Until next stop,
Journey of Life

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