Key Holders ...

Jenn from wine-n-chat.com is hosting a blog hop since last Thursday and I have been wracking my brain on what to write and suddenly I was enlightened. The idea always came out of nowhere. Anyway, the following was the prompt from the blog hop--keys.

Each of us is the owner of many keys (literally) and among them is the key to our lives. With these keys in our own hands, we decide/determine which door to open and which door to lock. Luckily, many of us are more than capable of handling our own keys of lives.

However, that is not the case with our children. At the beginning, we resolved for them which door to enter or not. With much love and examples, we are enhancing their ability to choose and manage their keys of lives. With the hope that someday, they would be able to take charge of their own keys-- they would be the ultimate owner of their own keys of lives.

Food for thought: As the Key Holders of our next generation's, our jobs are not merely the Key Holders, we are the ultimate holders of their faiths.

Hope you enjoy this stop visiting the Key Holders ...

Until next stop,
Journey of Life

One Moment in My Life...

Jenn from http://www.wine-n-chat.com kicked off the BlogFest party at the beginning of October, and before we knew it, we have reached the end of that month. However, that does not mean the party is over yet! In fact, I am taking you all to embark on a Journey of Life, where each of you would share One Moment in Your Life.

One Moment in My Life ...

The other day when I dropped my younger one off to the school, I saw her running toward the soccer field. Something about the way she ran … the confidence that she portrayed … as if the very air around her shimmered with happiness, as colorful and vibrant as a rainbow. And the vibration was so strong that I could feel it from miles away.

I remember thinking, “This is it. This is the moment that I have been waiting for in my entire life.” Seeing her being confident and happy … made me realize how blessed I am to be her mother.

Seems like it was just yesterday when I was holding her close to my heart, her tears dropping onto my clothes. Then, she had been facing the most challenging obstacle in her life–losing her best friend. For whatever reason it may be, her closest friends had left her behind, one by one–that was the time when I desperately wished I had a magic wand so that I could make everything fine. How I wished!

Gifted children are often lacking in social skills. Perhaps it is the way they are wired intellectually, because somehow their social skills are lagging behind–it is like the missing bits in their brains. Many parents spoon-feed academic materials to their gifted children, thinking that that is what they need the most. In turn by doing so, we have set their social skills even further apart from the other children of their age.

I could feel her pain vividly each time she was hurt emotionally by her lack of social skills. I am blessed to have a gifted child, but her happiness to me is priceless. Countless play-dates were set for her. Countless parties were planned. But to no avail. I searched helplessly each time she was hurt on how to improve her social skills. –Making friends has always come naturally to me so each time I was left clueless, uncertain of what to do. Between her close bond with her sister, her love of writing, her affectionate relationship with my husband and me, and many combinations of things we had tried, somehow she has overcome her hurdle.

Yes! She has traveled a long way. Here I am watching her contentedly as she is running confidently and happily toward her own journey of life.  This moment of my life will never fade away, for it is seared in my heart, an image carved in stone...

Until next stop,

Journey of Life

Why They Had Failed?

Have you ever asked yourselves that question whether they are related to your own failures in life, careers or perhaps about your children’s ? If you haven’t, well, lucky you!

But for some of us, this question perhaps has been echoing in our brains or perhaps repeated many times throughout our lives. What exactly is the cause of failure? Some people blame for the lack of intelligence, some blame on the efforts. Let’s see what Carol Dweck, Ph.D has to say …

"Focus on effort --not on intelligence or ability -- is key to success in school and in life." --Carol S. Dweck

Through her research, she has discovered that people tend to thrive more even when they have hit rock bottom if they believe the very reason they are failing is due to lack of efforts and the way their mind-sets are. For those who have failed and believed due to their intelligence have developed lack of confidence thinking they have tried hard enough and they could only do so much since they have hit their intelligence limit. These people tend to stop trying and view intelligence as fixed trait. They also believe that working hard means they are not smart enough. With that mind-set, people tend to shy away from more challenging works simply worrying how others may perceive them as not smart.

On the other hands, for those who believe intelligence is malleable and can be developed through learning and hard work, tend to thrive more –they believe that they can expand their intellectual skills. Dweck believes that people with a growth mind-set feel that learning is more important than getting good grades or simply hit the goals alone.

Exactly how are we going to grow our mind-sets and our next generations? She claimed definitely not praising on how smart our children are but instead emphasizing on their efforts. She also mentioned that telling stories about achievements that result from hard work definitely help. Speaking of which, My Tiny Spider and Knowledge Tree are definitely a few examples of what Dr. Dweck has in her mind.

“Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., is one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of motivation and is the Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. Her research has focused on why people succeed and how to foster success. She has held professorships at Columbia and Harvard Universities, has lectured all over the world, and has been elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. Her scholarly book Self-Theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development was named Book of the Year by the World Education Federation. Her work has been featured in such publications as The New Yorker, Time, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Boston Globe, and she has appeared on Today and 20/20.” -- http://mindsetonline.com/abouttheauthor/index.html

Until next stop,

Journey of Life

Good Grade Pill …

Call it anything you want—be Good Grade Pill or most commonly known as Study Drugs among kids. Yes. we are no longer talking about illegal drugs, we are talking about stimulant drugs that can help the A.D.H.D kids to concentrate. But, who do you think are taking these drugs nowadays? –Now you are seeing the picture that I am painting. Yes. They are those students who want to do better at school –in fact they are those who are A or B students.

Let’s take a step back, why are they here today? What made these kids taking prescription drugs? Yes, the parents, and the society. We have high expectation on our kids. Some of us are sending the messages that Ivy League schools are THE schools. And they need good grades and high SAT tests. Where are we when they are struggling to keep up with the peer pressure? –Are we there to be with them or we are merely pushing and giving them pressures?

Do we want our kids to do well so badly that we merely closing our eyes and don’t see anything? Let’s take a dive into the so call Good Grade Pill aka Study Drugs. According to the article “Risky Rise of the Good-Grade Pill” by Alan Schwarz, “The number of prescriptions for A.D.H.D. medications dispensed for young people ages 10 to 19 has risen 26 percent since 2007, to almost 21 million yearly, according to IMS Health, a health care information company — a number that experts estimate corresponds to more than two million individuals.”

“The boy exhaled. Before opening the car door, he recalled recently, he twisted open a capsule of orange powder and arranged it in a neat line on the armrest. He leaned over, closed one nostril and snorted it. Throughout the parking lot, he said, eight of his friends did the same thing.” In fact, ““Everyone in school either has a prescription or has a friend who does,” the boy said.” – I am dumbfounded!

Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Don’t mind them, they got the prescriptions either thru their own doctors or thru friends who have prescriptions and decided to either sell them or share with their friends. And how? you ask…--“Christine, a junior sitting nearby, said she followed the well-known lines to get her drugs directly and legally, a script for scripts. “I’m not able to focus on schoolwork,” she said in a mockingly anxious voice. “I’m constantly looking out the window.” –Yes, that is all needed, some of the kids mentioned in the article said, some of the doctors didn’t even finish listening and the prescription was already written.

I am not sure what else to say … I hope you would find this blog as a reminder to all of us, parents, to look beyond grade, work with our children and perhaps stop and listening to them before they are tempted to turn themselves to the “Study Drugs” for help.

Until next stop,

Journey of Life

Threshold in Intelligence

I once wrote Motivation and Us, where I have mentioned that "Self motivation! Without it, even a gifted child can perform less than one! In fact, I was told that there are plenty of gifted children that aren't doing well in this world and some parents considered gifted is a curse!"

Now I have learned something new about being gifted, so called, higher IQ. --IQ is a lot like height in basketball, according to a British psychologist Liam Hudson. Basically you need to be a t least a certain height to play at the NBA level, and the same true of intelligence. Intelligence has a threshold. Basically, what both Hudson and Gladwell from Outliers were saying that once you are in the threshold of having IQ from 130 and above--there is no much difference. And you don't have to have the highest IQ to win the Nobel prize.

Image from sciencedaily.com

Gladwell analyzed schools that have produced Nobel Prize winners and discovered that they were not only from the schools like Stanford, Harvard or Yale but also from any school even the less elite ones. In order to be a Nobel Prize winner, all you have to do is to be smart enough to get into College. "This is a radical idea, isn't it," the author asked.

Another drastic example Gladwell has given in his book Outliers was about The University of Michigan law school. Like any elite schools, the university has given 10% of his admission allocation to member of racial minorities due to the policy of affirmation action. The school decided to tally up some statistic on the students admitted solely based on policy of affirmation action. They wanted to understand how successful were these students compared to the Termites--based on their intelligence. --a phrase introduce by Lewis Terman, professor of psychology at Stanford University for gifted individuals. He believed that these Termites were destined to be the future elite of the United States. To the university's surprised that those law school's minority students did extremely well --They're just as successful. There was no discrepancy.

"We have seen," Terman conclude, with more than a touch of disappointment, "that intellect and achievement are far from perfectly correlated."

Aside from intelligence, there is a creativity. Now take the following sample of 'divergence test.' and ask yourself and/or your children. Write down as many different uses that you can think of for the following objects:
1. a brick
2. a blanket
If your answers simply lie between the conventional usage of both items. Think again! Think about what are their usages when you have nothing but those items. --Now you know ...

I really enjoy writing this part of blog as much as I enjoy reading the Outlier. --Simply mind boggling!

If you enjoy my blogs, would you come 'Like' me on my FB fan page: https://www.facebook.com/AngelJourneyofLife --Thank you!


Thank you for walking with me on this journey ...
Journey of Life

Is Electrocution a Treatment to Autism?

In recent years, we have heard the term of Autism more than usual. In fact according to cdc.gov, 1 in 88 children has been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). That is an increased of 23 percents since CDC’s last report from the year of 2009. 

What is Autism? If you may. According to www.cdc.gov, “Autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) are a group of developmental disabilities that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges.” Also noted that “Over all, boys were almost five times as likely as girls to get such a diagnosis — at a rate of one in 54, compared with one in 252 for girls.” –cited from http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/30/health/rate-of-autism-diagnoses-has-climbed-study-finds.html

Here is a video for you to watch if you want to know more. It is about 3 and half minutes long. 

Now imagine yourself being an Autism child. You can’t seem to communicate well and you are probably being left out and looked differently by the world. And while other kids are playing hide and seek. What are you doing? It was said that Autism children are probably still learning how to speak, or probably found hiding under their beds or running away down the streets. “As many experts point out, autism is not simply "quirkiness" or an unusual personality trait, but a serious disorder capable of destroying families and children's futures.” –cited from http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/30/health/rate-of-autism-diagnoses-has-climbed-study-finds.html

Out of devastation or hoping for better future for their children with Autism disorder, some families turn to a special Educational Center like, The Judge Rotenberg Educational Center, Canton, Massachusetts. But, what they found could be shocking! In fact, I have received a personal email from www.change.org. titled, “Mass. school electrocutes blind girl." Here is what the email said, “A non-verbal nearly blind girl with cerebral palsy was shocked as part of her behavioral plan for making a moaning sound and for attempts to hold a staff’s hand (her attempts to communicate and to be loved .”-- My heart was pained, my eyes were misty and my voice was hoarse! Did I read it wrong? I read it over and over again, and my eyes and brain were telling me the same thing. –She was electrocuted!

In fact, she wasn’t the only one. It was if children were found closing their eyes for 15 seconds, or raising their hands for requesting bathroom breaks or even when they were scared seeing their classmates being electric shocked and showed their fears by yelling or crying or standing out of the seat. Guess what! Join the party! –They too were electrocuted! 

Are with me now? Can you feel the pain and anger? Want to make a difference? Please join the rest of us by signing the petition to stop this, You can find more information on http://www.change.org/petitions/judge-rotenberg-educational-center-please-stop-painful-electric-shocks-on-your-students#

And Here is the video where an 18 year old was shocked for hours at the JRC and by the time they stopped, a permanent damaged had been done to this boy! Where is justice when we need one? 

I hope you found this Journey as disturbing as I am and hopefully together we could do something to find justice for these Autism kids that need more love and attention than being cruelly tortured. 

If you enjoy my blogs, would you come 'Like' me on my FB fan page: https://www.facebook.com/AngelJourneyofLife --Thank you!

Dying to know what your thoughts are ...

Sad …

Journey of Life

Ambitious Parents, Mellow Children

Recently I have read an article from the Wall Street Journal about Type A parents who often find themselves struggle to raise Type B kids.  Before we dive in further into discussions, let’s take a look at each definition. Here is what Google has to offer,

What is  a Type A?

A personality type characterized by ambition, high energy, and competitiveness, and thought to be susceptible to stress and heart disease. –more or less, very driven, and ambitious person

What it Type B then?

A personality type characterized as easygoing and thought to have low susceptibility to stress. – In another words laid back personality

--courtesy of simplypsychology.org

Now that we are on the same page, let’s converse it away …

What the article was saying was, it was hard for ambitious parents to raise mellow aka laid back kids. What we are singing are not in tune with what they are humming. And that can be frustrating. Because …

“When parents and children are temperamental opposites, the results can be explosive.

Type A parents, driven by nature, often have to ease up on Type B kids, 
who are more dreamy and mellow.

When the pattern is reversed, relaxed Type B parents often feel outpaced 
by revved-up Type A offspring.

These matchups can cause conflict beyond the normal parenting challenges,

and solutions may require parents to adjust expectations and tactics.”

cited http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204479504576638950410953960.html

Even though, we choose to be parents but neither the kids or us can choose what type of personality the parents or the kids have. Would it be nice if we can do that? Second thought, the unknown makes our parenting much more fun. Don’t you agree?

We just need to be a bit creative when dealing with Type B kids, basically they need more time to mold their creativity into ambitions. Sometimes it may take longer than we anticipate, but they will get there eventually.

If we are Type B parents with Type A kids, well … we just have to let them run in full force and follow them closely to remind them from time to time to be just kids.

The challenge here is to let them do what they want and yet be kids and sometimes push them a tiny bit either forward or backward.

Having said that, are you a Type A or B parent? How about your kids? Tell me ya...

I hope you enjoy this journey of mine visiting the personality type. Knowing our and our next generation's type may ease our roads of parenting.

Until next stop,
Journey of Life