Magens Bay --San Thomas

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Perfect to me ...

"A penny for my thoughts,
Oh no,
I'll sell em' for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
and maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing
funny when you're dead how people start listenin' " 
That is an excerpt from a song, named “if I die young …” by The Band Perry. That song has been playing a lot at my favorite station recently. Another song called “Perfect” by Pink, says something like "They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair. We change ourselves and we do it all the time... If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me …"

--courtesy of

We, as a parent, couldn’t help it but pass on our own expectations to our next generation. Without realizing, we are putting tremendous pressure to our next generation to achieve what we want them to achieve or perhaps what we wanted to achieve.
One wise mom once told me a story where her very close friend’s daughter came home for a visit after being in college. She showed up with an earring in her nose. You could imagine how her parents’ reaction was. The girl went back and later, came back for next visit. This time, she showed up with an earring in her tongue instead, leaving her parents wordless. That mom told my friend that it was a shocked since her daughter was nowhere like this before and yet, the worst they did was criticizing her daughter. Criticism is everywhere, but do we have to take part as well? Okay, seriously, I wouldn’t know how to react if I were in that mom's shoes as well.

A very good friend of mine; his only child has grown up to be someone that they never expected. However he never once lost his faith. His love for his son was unconditional “You are perfect to me,” is the words that I could describe how his son is meant to him. Very wise man, indeed. Not all of us could be like him. But, do we have to wait until they are goner to listen to or to accept them or perhaps, after they have made a wrong turn?

In fact, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The writing is on the wall, all we have to do is to take time and read it. I guess what I am trying to say is, things don't just happen. All we have to do is to listen and I mean "listen with our heart."

I hope many of us won't have to face the extreme to realize what our children are trying to tell us. Sometimes, we need to be there for them. Other times, we just have to look other ways. (Literally, close our eyes and hope for the best!) It is a fine line to walk on, but somehow we just need to balance ourselves so we don’t slip and somehow able to “get them to college before get them to heaven,” as one funny bishop said jokingly.

Let's take some time in our journey to realize what our role really is! Be a loyal listener, and/or supporter or simply being there and accept who they are.

Until next stop,
Journey of Life

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