Buckets full of expectations ...

Each of us carries a bucket of expectation for each and every one of our circle of friends, including loved ones. Paradoxically, it always starts with empty bucket. Each time our buckets are filled with accomplishments, good deeds, or kind gestures by others, we in turn replaced it with more expectations. Without realizing, we raise the bar of expectations higher and higher each time until we find our buckets filled with disappointment and frustration instead.

--courtesy of allposters.com

Same thing happen in our professional world, where we find ourselves carry certain buckets of expectations on our co-workers, managers, or subordinates. Luckily, most of the times, expectations are being spelled out clearly. Even so, we often find ourselves raising the bar higher and higher each time, leaving both sides feeling of disappointment and frustration.

Most of us are doing wonderful job in managing expectation of others on us. We often express explicitly on what we can commit and what we cannot. Unfortunately, it is not the case with our children. Often, they do not know how to manage us, the parents’ expectations. They find themselves trap in our expectation. They do not only need to fulfill our expectation, but also the rest of the authoritative figures, including teachers, let alone their own expectations. We want more and more from them and yet the list never ends until we find ourselves clashing with them.

Presumably, it is much more challenging to manage our own expectations on others than managing others' expectations on us. Perhaps if we should start with empty bucket each time, so we would get excited on every little gesture, accomplishments we collect. Perhaps we should make them known and agreed, our expectations. Perhaps, we should analyze the pattern and make adjustment each time when our bucket is not filled with the right amount of expectations. Perhaps we should step in and adjust our expectations on others when we find them stagger.

Either way, we would experience disappointment since it is in our tendency, as humans, to expect more and more each time when our buckets of expectations are fulfilled. The challenge here is to find the right amount of expectations that would reach an equilibrium point.

We should take time out of our lives and analyze what is the fair amount of expectations on others and what is the fair amount of expectations on us. No doubt that, we would stumble a lot in this journey of finding the balance of expectations. Nevertheless, someday, somehow, perhaps we would reach the equilibrium point or perhaps never.

Until next stop,
Journey of Life