Magens Bay --San Thomas

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Buckets full of expectations ...


Each of us carries a bucket of expectation for each and every one of our circle of friends, including loved ones. Paradoxically, it always starts with empty bucket. Each time our buckets are filled with accomplishments, good deeds, or kind gestures by others, we in turn replaced it with more expectations. Without realizing, we raise the bar of expectations higher and higher each time until we find our buckets filled with disappointment and frustration instead.

--courtesy of allposters.com

Same thing happen in our professional world, where we find ourselves carry certain buckets of expectations on our co-workers, managers, or subordinates. Luckily, most of the times, expectations are being spelled out clearly. Even so, we often find ourselves raising the bar higher and higher each time, leaving both sides feeling of disappointment and frustration.

Most of us are doing wonderful job in managing expectation of others on us. We often express explicitly on what we can commit and what we cannot. Unfortunately, it is not the case with our children. Often, they do not know how to manage us, the parents’ expectations. They find themselves trap in our expectation. They do not only need to fulfill our expectation, but also the rest of the authoritative figures, including teachers, let alone their own expectations. We want more and more from them and yet the list never ends until we find ourselves clashing with them.

Presumably, it is much more challenging to manage our own expectations on others than managing others' expectations on us. Perhaps if we should start with empty bucket each time, so we would get excited on every little gesture, accomplishments we collect. Perhaps we should make them known and agreed, our expectations. Perhaps, we should analyze the pattern and make adjustment each time when our bucket is not filled with the right amount of expectations. Perhaps we should step in and adjust our expectations on others when we find them stagger.

Either way, we would experience disappointment since it is in our tendency, as humans, to expect more and more each time when our buckets of expectations are fulfilled. The challenge here is to find the right amount of expectations that would reach an equilibrium point.

We should take time out of our lives and analyze what is the fair amount of expectations on others and what is the fair amount of expectations on us. No doubt that, we would stumble a lot in this journey of finding the balance of expectations. Nevertheless, someday, somehow, perhaps we would reach the equilibrium point or perhaps never.

Until next stop,
Journey of Life

 

8 comments:

  1. I have found when I expect nothing and get something, then I am always thankful and happy.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah ... you are definitely on the right track.

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  2. I agree. I'm becoming very aware of that even with just our 8 year old; Actually, I worry more about Daddy putting too much pressure on him. He was worried Daddy would be "mad" because he "only" scored a 92 out of 100 on our state 2nd grade assessment tests. It's a fine line; our expectations of our children can be detriment to their self-esteem. Thanks for dusting this one off and linking up . A good one.

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    1. Thank you Sandra. I totally know what you meant about your eight year old.

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  3. So very true...Balance is key I think. (Love your new banner, great picture of you! I love cruises...I was on 3 of them..My late hubby and I were married onboard one...Such fun memories....)

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    1. Indeed nice memory. You have so much fun and nice memories with your late hubby.

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  4. I have cable back. Starting to rear my head from the mess we've been in though very tired. NOt quite there yet. Be nice not to have a hurricane or nor'easter for a few days...we talked about guest posting, right? You sent me something? Seems like a century ago but I don't have it anymore...

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    1. Thank for your visit Sandra and I am glad things are starting to be back to normal for you and your family. I will resend the email to you.

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