Not sure how many times have I stood in front of this mirror ... Funny is, I can’t see myself very well! All I am seeing is the crack in the heart of the mirror. Yes! There is a crack--No, there was a crack and it doesn't matter how many time I tried to fix it … I can see it clearly while others may not be able to. It looks just fine from outside.
“Let’s just be friends.”
“Friends… I see …That kiss didn’t mean anything to you?”
“That was friendship kiss!”
“I see … Friendship kiss … Yeah … sure. Of course”
“I see … Friendship kiss … Yeah … sure. Of course”
“I thought...you ...never mind! I just read you wrong” –I murmured softly and walked away …
That was the last time I saw him. I packed my feeling and went away. Never looked back! The truth is it hurt and still hurts … At the same time, I was grateful. Thankful to him for ending my misery. We shouldn’t have met at the beginning anyway. It wasn’t meant to be. Those words just ended everything. Ended my confusion, ended my misery, and ended some dreams of mine. Funny thing was …I didn’t cry nor did I argue further...
1.5 years ago ….
“I am so sorry …Let me help you.”
“That is okay .. I should have watched where I gone”
“It was my fault.”
“It was my fault.”
Then there was a moment of silence as we locked our gazes.
“Um … I am late for the meeting.” –I broke the silence
“Here .. your papers and I am Alex”
“Um … I am Crystal”
“I will see you around …”
Months went by and I was busy with my work and planning for
our upcoming vacation, my fiancée, Phillip, and I. Yes, I was engaged to Phillip that I have known for ages. In fact he was the first guy who stole my ‘first
kiss’ from me. We both had been busy with our works and barely had time for
each time so the vacation was a way for us to indulge and spending time
together. Smiling to myself while thinking about how romantic the trip was going to
be for us.
“That was such a sweet smile …” –Suddenly a voice broke the silence and brought me back from my fantasy.
I looked up and there he was … that guy!
“How have you been? You look so happy… must be thinking
about your boy friend?”
“Fiancée ..”
“Ah … “
“Fiancée ..”
“Ah … “
“Is your Fiancée as busy as you are too?”
“Yeah … busy is good”
“Yeah … busy is good”
“Is that LV?” –pointing at my Louis Vuitton bag
I looked at him and ignored his question. But, he went on …
“What were you thinking?”
“Oh .. that. Thinking about our upcoming trip.”
“Where are you going?”
“We are going to Europe.”
“Where in Europe?”
“Where in Europe?”
I felt queasy because I thought this guy is a bit nosy.
But, I forced myself to answer anyway …”France”
“Sound fun”
“Yeah … it should be!”
Then I said “Good bye” and walked to my car.
Strange guy, I thought to myself. Anyway … I was so happy
and couldn’t wait to go home. My mom had cooked my favorite dish today –Spicy shrimp.
As I started to move my car, I saw him at the exit way and we looked at each
other again. He smiled and gave the way. Then he followed me to the freeway. I
didn’t think much of him …but felt a bit strange.
“You are so tall and you look like a model!”
“Um …”
“When are you going on vacation?”
“ In eight months.”
“ In eight months.”
As we sat down on the break room drinking our tea, we
chatted for little longer and if it wasn’t for a meeting, we could have chatted
some more. Very often we would bump into each other unexpectedly and ended up in the break room and little bit
by a little bit ….
“Hey Alex, let’s go for lunch!”
“Let’s go!”
“And you are driving?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope!” –I gave out one of my sweetest smiles
He raised his eye brow and looked at me. I was wearing his favorite skin-tight Jeans and light jacket. At least that was what he said. He told me that I look good in jeans and he liked the color on that jacket. He said since I am tall, and slim, they just fit me. Before I could look away, he leaned forward and whispered, "You have hair on your pants." And he lifted it and I felt like my body was trembling and I looked away
and felt uncomfortable. All of the sudden … I felt
like the rest of the group were staring at us.
That was one of many lunches that we shared. And every time
we chatted, we seemed to share many things in common. He would always drive whole bunch of us
to lunch and sat next to me. He also would eat something off my plate and
sometimes I would take some food from him. Laughing voices always echoed among us.
“Do you have time to talk about the project?”
“Sure, now?”
“Let’s go!”
We walked in to a conference room and I started to talk and explain
in detailed. As I explained further and stood in the front, I noticed that he
was staring at me and smiling.
“Are you listening to what I am saying?”
“Yes. I am. You were saying …”
I blushed and moved on. He was staring at me and I kept on
talking. Not sure how much he got from what I presented but I didn’t care …
I saw a shadow standing on the side of the cube peeking thru
my cube, as I looked up …
“Are you going home?”
“Um …”
Then I walked to the bathroom and I saw him having a cup of
water on his hands. “I thought you were going home.” He smiled and didn't answer me but instead he changed subject so smoothly. And I had forgotten
what I said and before I knew it, we both walked out with our belongings and
headed to our cars. That was one of the many times and probably countless
number of times that we walked together to the cars.
“You have betrayed me!”
“What?”
“I told you what I knew and you told David.”
I was so pissed at Alex for passing the information that I had told him. I stopped talking to him and he kept coming back to my cube and wanted
to talk to me but I refused. Until …
“Let’s talk!” – I walked to his cube and he was in the middle
of the lunch and he said, “Okay," attempting to put away his lunch.
“Please finish your lunch then come by my cube.”
“OK”
I heard the knocking sound on the metal between the sheet of material that covered my cubicle. I didn’t say anything but started walking to a conference room. After a lot of back and forth and finally he said …
“I needed to let David know so he could be aware of whatever that was going on.”
“You know that ...”
I started to pay attention on what he was saying and finally
understood why he told David the secret that I have told him.
Later that afternoon he gave me an apple. Yes, an apple. That was the beginning of how we shared many things. Sometimes he would cut an apple into two halves and gave one of them to me and other times, he would share his lunches with me. We often ate lunches together. Then we would chat about life and so many things …
..............................
"Are you ready for the company picnic tomorrow?""Oh .. yeah .. the company picnic!"
"Such an airhead! Don't forget we have a company meeting before hand."
"That too. Okay, see you at the company meeting!"
"See ya ..."
Finally the meeting was over. It lasted 3 hours and I saw him on the way out and he asked me if I would want to carpool with him. I nodded since my fiancee dropped me off this morning as my car was in the shop. As I sat next to him, he turned on the radio and said, "That is your favorite station!" And it was playing the music ... "I need you now" by Lady Antebellum .. Without realizing we both were singing in tune ...
.............................................
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
For me it happens all the time
We were a bit early for the picnic, so we decided to take a walk and chatted away. As we walked, we stopped at one odd looking tree. He pointed and said, "Look at the ants! They are all over the tree, so the leaves must be sweet."
I pricked one and handed over him and said jokingly, "Go ahead and try ..."
And he put it in his mouth ... and I gasped .."Hey ...what if they are poisonous!"
He ignored me and tasted it and said, "It doesn't taste good."
"Let me see the leaf." and he didn't want to give it to me ... I didn't know how it happened, he was holding one of my hands while I was trying to reach the leaf using my other hand.
It had been a year since I first bumped into him. As our friendships grew…my heart was leaving me bit by bit. And my vacation grew closer and closer and …
“I don’t feel like going on vacation?”
“Why?”
“I dunno” -- My voice was trembling
He leaned over and stroke my hair and said, "Vacation is good for you."
I was quiet ... then I said ...
I was quiet ... then I said ...
“Yeah … But, somehow, I felt like I am missing something. “
“You are?”
“Yeah …”
Before we knew it, I ended up in his embrace. He struggled to keep me close as he hold me tighter and tighter and a kiss landed on my forehead before we parted.
------------------------------------
I did go to the long-awaited vacation with my fiancee, Phillip, . however, something felt
strange and I felt a bit of guilt mixed with sadness. I was with the man that
I have loved all my life but yet I felt something was missing. I didn’t know
what and I didn’t understand …
------------------------------------
I took a deep breath and somehow when I looked again ... I am still standing in front of the mirror. Looking at my own reflection and noting... I am about 5.8 feet tall with size two body, brown eyes, tall nose, eyes that used to shimmer like the stars in the sky but now look weary and puffy. The shoulder length hair seem to be frizzy from lacking attention. All of the sudden, I let out a huge sigh and murmured, "It is over ..." Now all I have is nothing but bitter-sweet memories. I felt like my heart was
bleeding but yet it was covered with soft cotton. Cotton as soft as cloud as if
they are trying to wrap my heart and providing as much cushion for me ... as if they are trying to heal it ...
Five months later ...
“You look so beautiful in your wedding gown”
“I am?”
“Let’s go!”
As I give out my sweetest smile, I walk across the plaza
to the Church. All of sudden, a body passed by me and I feel my heart is beating so hard
as he looks at me. I look
at him from the corner of my eyes … I see a man, around six feet tall, pale skin, tall nose, with medium size ear-lobes and he is wearing a pair of square glasses in his late twentieth. His eyes are widen and he drops his lower jaw as he sees me. But, for whatever reason may be, I decide to look away ...
And somehow this song started to play in my ears... "Somebody that I used to know ..." -- as written by Walter Andre De Backer
And somehow this song started to play in my ears... "Somebody that I used to know ..." -- as written by Walter Andre De Backer
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
....................
Copyright Journey of Life
great story, this is really a cool piece... and full of emotion... Yahweh bless.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouraging words!
DeleteThis was great. I loved the story. I guess she wasn't meant to be for David. Her heart belongs to Alex.
ReplyDeleteYeah ... Unfortunately! :-)
DeleteToo emotional!
ReplyDelete:-) I know!
DeleteHmm, didn't get much emotion from it, but it was an excellent telling of how sometimes love isn't always what we want, but what we are meant to have.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and stopping by. Yeah ... has to be!
DeleteSuch a great plot!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emily and thank you for the ebook! Lucky me :-)
DeleteWonderful story illustrating how life pans out and fate takes its course.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Thank you Kathy! Indeed ...Indeed!
DeleteI enjoyed your story. It's funny how life turns out to be just the way it's supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I do believe that! Thank you Sherry.
DeleteI loved your story and how it reflected so many things that can change in life.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouraging words. Really appreciate it.
DeleteSorry it's taken me so long to read this; life interferes! But congrats on another piece of fiction! I think this is really the "close" first person voice as it sounds spoken; as if someone is sitting on a couch and quickly recounting a story. That's fine, as I've probably said, doesn't matter what point of view you wind up writing in, as long as it is consistent. And this IS consistent. As to how well it works as a story, I think it is a bit rushed. A lot of time passes here very quickly, and without our getting to know much about the characters. I think what you have here is indeed a voice AND an idea for a story -- if you wanted to rework this, you can open it up into many scenes. In fact the closest you do get to a scene here is with the ant – that's terrific. And very immediate. You slow down here as the writer, allowing for the reader to fully enter into the moment. See where you can slow down in other places. For example, a scene when they're actually sharing a lunch? An apple? Let us see as well as hear what is happening between them. You have some nice details like that, about the apple, and even the hair on the pants. Those are the details that are memorable and slow down fiction. Allowing the reader to fully become engaged in the story. And if you slow the whole thing down, that will help to elevate the tension she is feeling, how she is torn between these two men in many ways. Slowing down would also help to better orient the reader in time and place. You do accomplish some of that with the moment of looking in the mirror -- then returning to the mirror, as if this as all been in flashback. But again, in reworking this, you need to just learn how to slow it all down, develop more fully individual moments. Glad you made it and linked up! In fact, in future workshops, if you wanted to try a revision of this by submitting one actual scene, that might be an incentive to see how you can open this all up -- focus on developing fully, one individual scene.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your valuable feedback, Sandra. When I read it back... I feel like the scenes were choppy. Now I know, lack of details in many scenes. Thank you, really appreciate it!
DeleteIt began well but then I never knew who she was talking about. It got confusing and I stopped reading it. The conversation mixed me up. Never knew who was talking or who you were talking to. and then you brought in your mother?...I gave up.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honest opinion! I will try to work on it. Really appreciate it!
DeleteI am not an editor to critique your writing so I only will tell you that it was a compelling story that made me uneasy and unsettled. It was possible that the woman might leave her fiance and i didn't want that at all or that the previous significant man might hurt the lead (too much TV police shows). Dramatic story!
ReplyDeleteIt is dramatic! And depending on how you look at it, even though it was a sad ending for the one relationship but it was a meant to be for another!
DeleteThanks Elaine for your encouraging words. With time, I will get better :-)
Great job, but for some of the conversations, I was not sure whether it was Crystal and Phillip or Crystal and Alex. Also, you need to develop your characters more and make sure the reader can relate. If you don't, the reader will not feel as much for them. They will go like, "Oh well" in the end, when she is not with Alex. In addition, you did not show how Alex and Crystal become closer. You told the reader. Always try to show, not tell. I think that bringing in her mother is not relevant to the story, since she is only mentioned once and then forgotten altogether. I also feel that the climax was anti-climatic. There was no suspense at all. Lastly, remember not to use 1.5 in writing. You should write it out, like this: one and a half. Overall, nice story! I'll look forward to seeing you write more fiction. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your great feedback, Gugu Psyduck :-) Will revise accordingly.
DeleteI am a real romantic fool, and so I though she would have left her fiance and gone with David. I sensed her battle, and while that battle raged, I don't think she should have gotten married. I guess that's my story now. lol!
ReplyDeleteGood job, Angela!
Yeah ... but perhaps it was meant to be for her to stay with her fiancee :-)--That Alex guy was just a distraction in her life and perhaps they are NOT meant to be after all.
DeleteI really don't like how this Blogspot works. Sorry! I can never tell if my previous comment was accepted or not. But just so you know I did leave a comment. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry .. I wanted to put the words challenge, but it is a bit cumbersome. Then I tried to leave it open and I got spammed. So, this thingy is a middle ground but then I need to approve it.
Delete